Wednesday, October 1, 2008

despair

Everything just came tumbling down, first I lost my job, then my finances became tight, I am having a difficult time in making ends meet, I can't seem to find the right job, I became emotional because of all the challenges, me and my girlfriend argued a lot, then she left me for another man just when I needed her the most... What's the worst thing that could happen to me?

This has been a never ending cycle for me, everytime I fall in love, I always end up falling flat on my face. Maybe this just isn't the right time, but come to think of it, when will the right time be? Am I cursed to spend my lifetime in pain? Am I destined to spend my life alone? Why can't anybody just realize my worth?...

I am not a bad person to deserve all this pain and frustrations, all I ever did was love. I know I am not perfect and I know I have my flaws. But I also know that each and everyone of us are not perfect beings. We each have our own flaws specially in our character. But I have learned to overlook those flaws and loved her even more.

When will this stop hurting? When will the pain go away? This wounded warrior is already growing tired, this little boy is already loosing faith. This little man is almost loosing hope...

The wounds in my heart, mind and soul are still fresh. The pain is still here, I thought that I'd be happy, I thought that I'd grow old with her. I guess I was wrong, dead wrong.

All I ever really wanted was to be loved and accepted for what I really am inspite of all my imperfections. I am not an evil or bad person, so why am I always the one who's getting hurt?

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