eye matters

one's eye is the window into his very being so we really need to take care of it. i was stupid enough not to remember that simple task and now i'm paying my price. it all started about two weeks ago when i suddenly felt a sharp pain in my right eye. i looked into the mirror and i noticed that it was really swollen and the whites have turned blood red. i quickly put some ice on it to help subside the swelling and i applied some eye drops that i have for that case (i have an inborn eye condition but that's another story...) and it subsided a little. as the days went by, i tried to self medicate with the usual arsenal of medications that i have that were prescribed to me for such cases. but i noticed that the swelling and pain did not go away and it even got worse...

i visited the doctor after almost a week to have my eye examined and he told me that i have 2 ulcerations in my cornea that is already severely infected and prescribed a barrage of antibiotics to fight those infections. he told me that the ulcerations may come from dust and other things that may have gotten into my eye a while back...

a while back, this could mean a couple of days, weeks or months ago. i should've paid more attention to what's happening to my body.

it has been two weeks since the start of the treatment and the vision in my right eye is severely impaired and is down to only 30 percent or less. the doctors are still agressively treating the infection with the usual antibiotics but the progress of healing is very slow as my condition is also complicated by my history of allergies and if there will be no changes or improvements that will be seen by next week, the doctors will start a whole new battery of medications that would include steriod therapy in order to fight of that nasty infection and save my eye...

all i can do now is hope and pray that a miracle will happen. the doctors told me that my eye can be saved but they're not sure for how long the treatment will last and what will be the extent of damage that the infection will have for that eye. but still at least i am not totally blind. somehow, i see that as a challenge for me to become stronger in dealing with pain. it might be a way for me to realize just how blessed i truly am... i know that GOD is with me and HE will help me through this. it's just a question of when...

cancer...

The news of the mother of a dear friend of mine having cancer made me remember my own experiences with my family's own battle with that dreaded and highly dilapidating disease.

My own father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer a little over ten years ago and I was practically right beside fighting the battles with him since I received the news on that faithful summer day. I actually haven't taken him seriously when he jokingly told me that he was dying as he had cancer because my dad was always the joker.

The cancer has actually taken its toll on him and tried to take away his dignity as a person, but the strong fighter that he was, he never really gave up fighting till the very end. He was actually the source of strength of our family during those trying times.

Not only has it taken its toll on him as a person, it has also taken its toll on us as a family. But somehow, our family has bonded together stronger than ever. Looking back made me realize what we've actually been through. And it made me realize how lucky we are to have such a strong and loving family.

It's almost ten years now since my father passed away and not a day has gone by that he wasn't missed. A lot has happened since that one fateful day. He was loved, he is loved and he is truly missed. My one greatest regret is that he never lived to see his four beautiful grandchild and he will also never get to see my kids when my turn will come to have a family of my own...